Archive for the ‘Silly stuff’ Category

Gamecock news

Friday, November 10th, 2006

Thanks to the good reverend for providing me with news that warms my Tiger heart. Apparently, some drunken frat boys from the University of South Carolina were featured in the new movie Borat. They are now suing, alleging that their appearance in Borat caused them to suffer

humiliation, mental anguish, and emotional and physical distress, loss of reputation, good will and standing” in their community.

Surely the simple act of being a Gamecock is enough to cause all of the above symptoms – whether or not you’re actually being ridiculed in a movie.

Classics of Student Literature

Friday, October 6th, 2006

This is a collection of funny student answers from my first few years of teaching introductory chemistry classes at my college. All student answers are presented as the student submitted them to me – spelling and all. Enjoy!

It helps to know what science you’re in

Question: Briefly define chemistry.

Student answer: A systemic substanse study of matter.

Conservation of mass: When you do a chemical reaction, the total amount of mass remains constant.

Question: Briefly state the law of conservation of mass.

Student answers:

  • Mass is equal to volume. You mass something when in something. The weight how much holds or is.
  • Mass measurements can be precise or accurate. Precise ask how close are measurements to the same measurement and accuracy wants to know is it right, law wants to know can I do it again.
  • Mass is how much it takes up on an object.
  • Mass is the kilograms.

Fun with Marshmallow Peeps!

Picture a marshmallow peep floating in a beaker of water. This was sitting in front of the students when they answered the following question.

Question: Is the marshmallow peep more or less dense than water?

Student answer: No.

Fun with magnesium!

Magnesium metal burns in air with a brilliant (almost blinding) white flame and leaves a white ash behind.

Question: Describe as thoroughly as you can what happens when a piece of magnesium is burned in air.

Student answers:

  • When a piece of magnesium burn in the air it will not show a reaction b/c the air has less density and it will not burn throughly.
  • It would explore like firecrackers.
  • When a piece of magnesium burns, it gets hard and turns into a metal.

Fun with oxygen!

Students prepare molecular oxygen (O2) and investigate the effects of a pure oxygen environment on combustion. They observe that things burn more intensely in pure oxygen.

Question: How does the amount of oxygen present affect the rate of combustion?

Student answers:

  • In high oxygen things give off better reaction and combustion. Compared to low concentration of oxygen.
  • In high concentration of oxygen is faster than air.
  • Oxygen burns faster and in air it doesn’t burn.
  • The fire is more contense in oxygen. The oxygen speeds it up (fire, the burning).

Sulfur burns a with bright blue flame in a high concentration of oxygen and with a dimmer blue flame in air. The faster sulfur burns, the brighter the flame is.

Question: What evidence from the burning of sulfur confirmed your conclusion about the rate of combustion?

Student answers:

  • That the sulfur when heat was added to it. It just started crackling and burning and looked like kinda like a copper color.
  • It change from a powder form to a liquid form.
  • It turned dark and there was a liquid.
  • An environment with pure oxygen can reignite flame from embers, but low concentration can not. High oxygen content created more intense heat.

Fun with hydrogen!

Students prepare, collect, and burn hydrogen. Hydrogen burns rapidly with a loud popping sound.

Students collected hydrogen by bubbling it through a bottle of water. This works because hydrogen does not mix well with water (it’s “insoluble”) and is able to push the water out of the bottle.

Question: What physical property of hydrogen, other than it is less dense than water, allows it to be collected in this manner?

Student answers:

  • Oxygen.
  • Very reactive.
  • Because it’s lighter than air.
  • Its ability to mix with other gases “diffusion”
  • It’s a molecule found in air.
  • It is an element, reactive, and can burn and also a gas at room temperature.

You don’t get a “pop” from hydrogen combustion when you bring a burning splint over a bottle which has sat open for a full minute. The hydrogen is very light and escapes into the room.

Question: How do you account for this?

Student answers:

  • Because hydrogen is dense.
  • B/C it was left open for 1 minute + the hydrogen left out. Was oxygen.
  • Air and hydrogen in the bottle did not make a popping noise.
  • The hydrogen was at the top of the bottom.
  • Oxygen put out the flame.

F-in Hamburgers!

Friday, September 15th, 2006

Over the Labor Day holiday. we happened to walk by Johnny Rocket’s in Myrtle Beach, where they serve …

[F-in hanburgers]

… F-IN HAMBURGERS!

Having been in this restaurant before, I can tell you that the hamburgers they serve are f-in expensive, and that they don’t taste all that f-in good.

I have to appreciate the truth in advertising, though!

The Oreo of DOOM

Tuesday, August 29th, 2006

Bow down before the sugary goodness of the Octuple Stuffed Oreo of DOOM.

[Oreo of DOOM]

Coming, deep fried, to a fairground near you.

Nutrition facts
– Contains 1000% of the recommended daily allowance of sugary cream filling.
– Contains no other nutrients

Headline of the day

Thursday, August 24th, 2006

Here’s the best headline I’ve read all day, from the Greenville News

Allegiant Air lands in Greenville
Airline fills void left by Independence Air

… well, I found it amusing.

The modern way to get out of doing your homework

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006

My alma mater is in the news!

I’ve run across what promises to be the decade’s preferred way to get out of homework! All you have to do is hold a news conference to declare it immoral.

You heard me right. A news conference was held this Monday by several freshmen students (enabled by a political type who is probably trying to increase his “family values” appeal) to protest their summer reading assignmentTruth & Beauty, by Ann Patchett.

I’ve got to hand it to Clemson’s English department (or whoever suggested the book). If the goal was to stimulate discussion, they have done so in spades. Those of us in benign fields like chemistry can only dream of students getting press coverage to protest having to learn about Arrhenius’ depraved ionic theory of solutions..

I’ve also got to hand it to the students – who may have a bright future in South Carolina politics. Holding a news conference to complain about the immorality of a homework assignment would play well to quite a few voters down here.

I can’t wait until these same students take biology, where evolution will be discussed. Better yet, let’s see what happens if/when they take the psychology department’s human sexual behavior course – where “the film” is shown. I’ll be able to see the fireworks all the way across the state!

Praise the Lord and pass the ketchup!

Saturday, August 12th, 2006

CNN’s offbeat news has this article about water leaking from a tree in San Antonio. Several causes for the water were listed (a well, a burst pipe, etc. Nobody’s sure what is causing the water to come out, because that would likely require either damaging the tree or digging big holes in the yard.

But what makes this article strange is at the very end.

[The owner of the tree] has started to wonder if the water has special properties.

Her insurance agent dabbed drops of the water on a spider bite and the welt went away, she said.

Now I’ve had a few bug bites iin my time (I’m from South Carolina, after all), and one thing I’ve noticed about most bug bites is that the welt goes away after a short time. This is, of course, without the application of mysterious water from leaking trees.

“I just want to know if it is a healing tree or blessed water,” she said. “That’s God’s water. Nobody knows but God.”

I was in Arby’s the other day, taking part in an unholy ritual involving the consumption of a large roast beef combo. I noticed this in my box of curly fries.

[Jesus fries!]
The Jesus fry

This curly fry digested extremely well in spite of its unusual shape and extreme greasiness. In fact, the whole meal associated with the curly fry digested well.

When you eat as much grease as there is in one of those large boxes of curly fries … and you don’t have indigestion afterwards … that must mean that divine intervention is at work!

I just want to know if that was a healing fry or it had been fried in blessed grease. That’s God’s grease. Nobody knows but God.

The most asinine thing I’ve ever seen

Thursday, August 10th, 2006

Here’s the most asinine thing I’ve ever seen.

No, it’s not the ACE curriculum – although I would certainly point out that the ACE curriculum ranks highly on my list of asinine things.

It’s …

[The KISS Coffeehouse]

… the KISS Coffeehouse, in Myrtle Beach.

Clogging your veins…

Tuesday, August 8th, 2006

You know the chicken’s going to be greasy when you see a sign like this:

[We pump fried chicken]
We pump fried chicken!

Public service announcement

Friday, August 4th, 2006

It’s tax-free weekend in South Carolina! All y’all Libertarians here in South Carolina can run to the stores today and stick it to the man by buying items without paying any sales tax.

But remember, not all items are tax-free this weekend:

You can buy bobby pins, galoshes, bridal veils, and adult diapers tax-free.

You cannot buy soap, clocks, personal floatation devices, or sheet stretchers tax-free.

Everyone got that?